something to hold on to

"...both we and our words are over-produced by influence." -Anthony Green (Circa Survive)

This statement really sinks in every time I hear this song. It's crazy to think that around certain people you act totally different. I know for a fact that I have done this many times. A friend of mine said to me last night that men have this innate characteristic to only take in information that is going to somehow effect them. I thought that statement was so true. I act totally different when I am in "my element" and Courtney knows that best. She has said to me many times that I was different when I was on stage then I was the night before when we were hanging out.

I constantly remind myself that I need to be me. That looks like horrible grammar at first glance, but really take it in. I remind myself I need to be me. I get caught up sometimes in trying to mimic other artists, songwriters, composers, scholars, pastors, and so on. The only person I should be trying to be like would be Christ. The least that I can do is be myself. I am not an old man by any means, and I am certainly not a teenager anymore, so what am I? I have another friend that leads a bible/worship time on Friday nights. He had said a statement I agreed with whole heartedly, "The most difficult time in life has to be right now." Now to you that might not sound like much, but need I remind you he is speaking to kids ranging from ages 18 to 29. How much more difficult can it get? "I don't know what college I want to go to...I don't want to get a 'real' job...I can't stand living with my parents any longer, but I don't have the money to move out...I want to get married...I never want to get married." These years are the most complicated in life. I recently started school at Liberty University. Believe it or not, I am actually excited about going to college. I do not regret taking time off between high school and now. I know the time spent in between has prepared me mentally to actually put forth effort in my studies now. In high school I was a huge slacker...I always wanted to do the bare minimum when it came to class (that is when I attended.)

A man was "texting" me last night about wanting to be something more. He kept telling me he wanted something more, "I want to be used, I want to be something more, I know that I could be better, I feel like I am a joke." I had to say, "God created you and me for a reason. Sometimes we don't know what it is, or even how we are going to achieve that, but it's still true. To say that you are a joke says that your creator is a joke. I know that's a lie!" Every other message I would say something like, "Try to get plugged in at church." But then his reply would be, "how do I go about that?" This is one of the many times I ask God, "what's going on?" (dude, I use a lot of quotes.) God does have a plan, I don't know what it is, nor should I. He is in control and that's all I can rely on.

This is the most informal blog about nothing. I am just writing my thoughts that I believe might mean something to someone. It's a hard life if you are in the ministry, but it's so worth it! I love my work. I get to lead people every week into the throne room of our Lord. I get chills just thinking about it.

I wish that I could say life is fair, but you know that would be a lie. God is good!

to live-
chase<><